Step Three for Life After Poor Me is…………….solitude.

Matthew 1:35
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

We have spent the past two posts working towards peace and quiet.  Why?  So that we can keep getting tossed into the storm caused by our relationships?  Heck no.  We are working towards peace and quiet so that we can be ALONE.  Yes, you heard it correctly, we need to learn to be alone again.  For some, this is worse than a death sentence: being told that we must spend some time alone.

Think about it, when are we alone?  I know that unless I physically hit the shut off button on my Blackberry I am NEVER alone.  I have IM, text messages, email, phone calls, Facebook, Twitter.  Then, what I just found out…oh shoot me…is that I can watch my Verizon Fios at home on my red couch, and there is a widget for Facebook right on the television.  So now, those few mindless moments I spend watching DVR at 11:30pm having shut my phone off for a blessed 4 hours, having put every computer on standby, having put my kids to bed, those moments can  still be wrought with the temptation to “just check Facebook” one more time.  I mean seriously!  Ladies, we are never alone.

But, then, too, we are just not talking about virtual alone-ness are we?  We are talking about someone placing their hand on our back as they walk past us.  We are talking about, not “Mommy, I can’t sleep” cuddles in the middle of the night, but “Baby, hmmmm….” cuddles in the middle of the night.  We are talking about that casual pat on the behind, that arm touching giggle, that slight kiss that makes us feel like a woman appreciated.

So, how after years of marriage to we get to a place where we can be alone again?  Can I ask you an honest question, first?  Before you got married, before that last long relationship, were you able to enjoy your own company without wishing you could share it?  The point I am making with these questions is this:  Is your feeling of lonely desperation a by-product of your divorce/separation or is it more deeply part of you?  Does it matter?

Yes! Because it goes a long way in helping you to understand you.  But, the solution is the same.  Well, Vida, what is the solution?  How do you get through those periods of loneliness to just being alone?

Be Alone.  Practice being alone.  Be alone more and more often until you can enjoy your own company.

And there it is, ladies.  The crux of the matter.  I can tell you to be like Jesus and go spend 5 minutes a day in solitude praying.  But, ultimately, that is not going to solve your problem.  For those five minutes you will feel fulfilled.  But, unless you are praying at 2:30 in the morning at the height of your loneliness and lustfulness, it is not going to help you in the slightest.  And, frankly, at the height of loneliness and lustfulness the most we can utter is “DAAAYYYAMMMM!”  and hope like the dickens that Jesus will come save us.

The key to being alone, ladies, is to really spend time with yourself understanding who you are, and why you love you.  Oh…wait did I say why we love ourselves?

Ah, light bulb, huh!??!  If we do not spend time with ourselves learning ourselves and loving ourselves, then there is absolutely no way that we can be ready for a new relationship.  We will continue to subject ourselves to bad relationship patterns, because that familiar insanity “makes sense” and feels “familiar”, even if it doesn’t feel good.  While I love the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and I highly recommend it, I believe good loving requires personal responsibility for loving oneself first.  It’s about figuring out not just how you love…but truly if you love.

When you go through your day, how many good and bad decisions do you make with regard to yourself?  Do you start your day with meditation?  Do you start your day with a good breakfast, at least?  How about your appearance, do you look your best?  (NOT DO YOU LOOK EXPENSIVE AND PUT TOGETHER!)  Did you drink water today?  Did you take a 10 minute break away from the world, to just enter your own space?  Did you say “yay, me!” even once?

Let me give you some starting places for learning to love your self, and thus learning that spend some time in solitude:

1. Before you get in the shower, look in a full length mirror for at least 30 sec.
2. Go to a bookstore on  your lunch break, and find titles of books that appeal to you–not what everyone says you should be reading, and not a magazine–but what appeals to you. Romance, Sci Fi,Magic, Historical, etc. (buy no more than one!)
3. Go to a fabric store and get swatches of everything that grabs your eye.
4. Go walk around a lake.
5. Sit in a corner of your house with your favorite beverage, in total solitude, in complete quiet.
6. Get a kids coloring book, and a box of crayons, and color.

Most importantly, grab a notebook, and take it with you, recording 30 second thoughts and epiphanies.  It will grow into a journal, be graceful with yourself.  Secondly, let your daily decisions be in your best interest, because you love you.

Girls, in this way, we begin to fall in love with ourselves.  We will go to Vickie Secrets and buy lingerie that makes us feel sexy and feminine…not that makes him visually aroused. (Ahh!  See the difference.)  If we feel sexy and good and feminine, then he will feel that way about us, too, (when time comes for there to be an him). We don’t have to trick him into feeling that way.  WE feel that way, and he can’t help himself.  That is a healthy relationship girls.  Its me being me, and him being him, and us being loving and respectful about the best in one another.

When we are confident about who we are…we know when he is not respecting who we are.  We feel it, and we run from it, before we are mired in marriage and children and life.  Just like we know when shoes don’t fit, we know when a relationship does not fit, because we know our size.

Ladies, this was a very practical post, not so much a spiritual one, so far.

What I hope you know is this: You are never alone.

When  you begin your journey by yourself, Jesus gets in lock step beside you.  And, without the distractions, when you go out to dinner by your self, you will feel his presence and feel at ease–and loved.  At random alone moments in your day, you will feel the pressure of His kiss on your cheek.  That is why He went off by himself, that is why Moses went of by himself, that is why Mary prayed alone, that is why the Widow stayed in the temple, that is why Esther prepared alone…Ladies, it is only in the very practical alone time where we can feel the presence of God.

Thank you for listening.  Be loved this week!

Vida

I remember my mom yelling this when I was younger.  I remember thinking, isn’t Peace and Quiet the same thing.  (Yeah, I was that kid.  I think I may have said that once to her, and have had to mentally blocked out the maternal response. *laugh)

As a mom of three boys, I realize, now,  that NO Peace and Quiet are definitely two completely different things.  I am always tickled when my girlfriends with no children, or who have daughters come to my house.  We will sit very peacefully downstairs. All of a sudden their is a roll of thunder that takes place upstairs where the boys are playing.  My girlfrieds immediately stare at me with startled worry, saying, “You think everything is okay?”  I take one more sip of my coffee, and very peacefully say, “Absolutely.  That noise did not come with total quiet–which means something broke, nor was it that “someone got hurt” noise.”  Inevitably, they respond with something akin to “I don’t know how you do it.”

Peace and Quiet are not the same things, ladies.  Step two to a life after Poor Me is to get quiet.  Silence your mouth.  Still your nervous body.  But above all, quiet your mind.  Quit replaying all the travesty of your marriage in your own mind, AND definitely quit replaying it for everyone else.  Stop rehashing all the old arguements with your soon to be ex.  Cease re-living and, thus, creating new scenarios to continue the argument.  Get to a point where you have said everything you can say about this situation.  (Okay, I know this sounds impossible, but its really not.  At somepoint, it is simply what it is.)

Last week, we discussed Peace.  We discussed that finding peace took a measure of forgiveness–a high price to pay–but that it was worth it for the ability to move forward in our lives.  Once we find peace, quiet has to be restored.  When Jesus calmed the storm, it was so that he could allow the disciples time to reflect on their own thoughts and behaviours during the storm.  Let’s read a clip:

Matthew 8:

²³Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

²⁶He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. ²⁵“Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

Luke 8

²²One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. ²³As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

²⁴The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. ²⁵“Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

That boat was going to make it to its destination.  It was not time for Jesus to die. So, if for no other reason, they should have rested more reasonably, more peacefully, during that storm.  They did not.  They went plum crazy mentally envisioning themselves drowning, etc.

Post-relationship, we are in a torrent of emotions.  We are second guessing our decisions.  We are wondering if  little Billy is acting out because he’s acting out, or because of the separation.  We are wondering back over all the marital issues wondering if we could have done something differently.  We are fussing about monetary needs/strains.  Separating doesn’t just mean he loses the kids “all the time.”  It means we, mothers,  lose the kids “all the time” as well.   How does a woman who has been married for 10 years with 3 kids all of a sudden create a social life that DOES NOT involve a kid date? (btw, if you figure this one out, please let me know.)  We miss our kids. We wonder…I mean the list is LONG.  Our mind is a constant roll of thunder.

While we might be at peace with our decisions to separate and divorce, our mind is still a storm of worries, thoughts and regrets.  This keeps us mired in “Poor Me.”  At all costs, we must quiet ourselves.  We must find our “calm.”

Imagine Jesus speaking into your spirit, into your mind, “Calm yourself.”  Those words can replace whatever hullabaloo your mind has kicked up.  I promise you, going over that email that your husband sent that woman one more time in your mind is not, I repeat IS NOT, going to give you new insight into why he sent it.  Nor is it going to make you feel any better about him having sent it.  I promise you, worrying about how you are going to pay for the dentist appointmen this month is not going to get it paid.  Calm your mind and a solution will come. (Or, at least you will get the will to have to ask their Dad. We’ll go over this issue here shortly as well, stay tuned.)

Once you have calmed yourself, once quiet has come in place of the storm,  Reflect.  “Where is your Faith?”

In the storm it is difficult to see where you have placed your faith.  I will share with you a bit of a testimony to illustrate this point.  I grew up in an unstable environment.  The overriding lesson of my childhood, it seemed,  was that if my father was more of a husband and father, we would have had more stability, ergo, more opportunities for success.  It was not until I got older that saw this for the crock of sh@# it was.  My mother’s children are all doing remarkably well.  My mother stood on the Rock of Gibraltar.  I mean she was the calm in the turbulent ocean.  She made everything ok simply by standing on faith that it has no choice but to be okay.  Consequently, as children, we knew and understood that while it might be hard, IT WILL BE OK.
As the proces of maturity would have it, however, I did not realize this until I was older(that is why it is called “maturity”, I am sure).  Negative behavior patterns had set in and taken root.  Specifically, what set it for me was that a man was required for their to be true stability in my home.  During a meditative retreat, God spoke deeply into my storm thrown heart.  He said to me, “Do you trust me?”  He held out his hand to ask me to get out of the boat.  Okay, this ocean was not the calm lake that Peter walked out on. This was a full blown hurricane out in the ocean, complete with titanic waves, and water spouts.  “Do you trust me?  Where is your faith?” He said again, as I looked about my life worriedly.

I looked Him square in the eye; I took His hand; and I walked out into the ocean.  The unbelieveable thing, sisters, that I want to share with you is this:  Once I stepped out there with Him, the ocean was  calm.  I mean there was only the natural ripple of life under the sea. It was wonderful.  The, He said to me,
“All your life you looked for stability outside of Me, and I am jealous.  Will you try me this time?”

Please, girls, do not read this as Vida saying God advocates for divorce.  I am not saying anything so petty.  I am saying something more significant.  I am saying that no matter what you are going through, quiet your mind and allow God to speak into it.  While you mind is in turmoil, it can not receive the wisdom that the Holiness of God wants to impart to you.  While you have peace, allow the quiet to calm your spirit and hear what God is trying to say to you.  Find your center of faith; have you misplaced it?  Only in the calm and quiet will you find it again.  Its always in the eye of the storm.

Thank you for listening.

Vida

This is a disorder where many of us get stuck.  We get so swept into the Greek Tragedy Medea state of  “a woman scorned” that everything else, every other thought gets lost in the maelstrom of feelings and emotions.

One of my girlfriends is absolutely hilarious.  About a week ago, she had her annual girls weekend party, complete with home pampering sessions (massages, etc).  Lots of laughter and good times.  During one point, when it was my turn to explain what has been going on in my life, she very calculatingly determined how we can absolutely make said ex-husband miserable for the rest of his life.  (My friendship circle is full of accountants, lawyers, bankers, etc. Everything they were recounting was completely plausible, legal and emotionally wonderful. )  After good rounds of cathartic planning and good laughter, I determined that I wanted no more drama in my life.  I determined that I wanted peace and closure at all cost, and sometimes peace comes with a heavy heavy price.

That price is forgiveness.

We tend to think that forgiveness means return back to the status quo in hopes that the outcome will be different.  Absolutely not!  If you walk down the same street a thousand times, a thousand times you find yourself in the same destination.

Forgiveness means to forgive them of the betrayals.  The action of forgiveness is re-extending the hand of brotherhood.  It is important to understand that forgiveness acknowledges each and every infraction, and says, “okay, it is done.”  Forgiveness is about taking an active step in the process of your own healing.  It frees you of the cancer of regret, hurt, and vengeance, each of which feeds on your body, your mind and your spirit.

Forgiveness is the hardest thing to offer someone who has betrayed you.

But, without it, you will always be stuck in the quagmire of the betrayal itself.  You will recall it at 2am when you are lonely.  You will recall it in the shower as you start your day.  You will recall it when you consider your children and how much they look like the betrayer.

When you forgive, the betrayal is replaced with hurt.  Hurt acknowledges that you are affected, without eating you.  Hurt fades as our wounds heal.  Our hurt diminishes in the smiles of our children, even when times are hard.  Our hurt diminishes in the small triumphs of buying your own flowered bedspread. Our hurt diminishes as we re-enroll in school, to finish this time.  I know that sounds wrong, but it does.  Think about it like this, when your youngster scraped his knee, you slathered antibiotic ointment on it, got the best Lightening McQueen Band-aid in the box, wiped his tears with your own hands, and you hugged him.  Which one of those tasks made the hurt go away?  It wasn’t just the hug.  It was the sum total of every one of those small actions that declared to him–”I’m ok.”  The hurt allowed him to seek help.  The help allowed him to get over the hurt.

Let’s advance the story. What if it was his buddy who pushed him down?  Now, that child has to go back outside with a bandaged knee.  You can see anger and betrayal in his eyes.  What do you do?

I tell you what I do–take it as you will.  I ask that boy to look me in the eye.  I ask him to tell me–to acknowledge–what happened, including the parts where he was wrong.  Then, I tell him its over.  Decide whether he wants the young man in the yard or not.  If not, then I tell him that we need to tell him he’s not welcome to come here if he’s going to act like that.  If so, then I tell him to let it go and go be friends.  But, if he’s got to remain angry, then we(my boy and I) need to stay in the house and do something else.

I believe the Lord tells us the same thing.  I imagine it sounds something like this:

Vida, baby, I know he hurt you so badly.  But, I am here with you. (Isaiah 54:6)

Vida, I know the depth of loneliness you feel.  But, if you will allow me, I can fill those longings for you. (John 4:4-30)

Vida, please don’t cry.  You can do this.  Together we can make this work.  (1 Corithians 15:58;  Ephesians 6:13)

Vida, there is so much more for you to look forward to, quit looking back. (Genesis 19:26)

Vida, Honey, forgive and allow me the rest.  (Matthew 6:14-15)

So,  sister girls.  My first step forward from ‘Poor Me’ was to forgive.  Oddly enough, this was such a big step, that it landed me squarely in Peace.  No wonder the Lord upon his return went around declaring to everyone, ‘Peace be with you.’  He’d taken care of the hardest part–the Forgiveness.

Thank you for listening.

V~

For the past year I’ve been struggling with a failing marriage.  As you  know, I’ve been studying the Proverbs 31 Woman and Isaiah 54 for the past two years with you.  Talk about IRONY!  While I can’t say I had no idea that my marriage was in shambles, I can say the decision to terminate the marriage did not come easy for me.

Because of those issues, I’ve thought, perhaps that my ministry was compromised.  While I did not ever communicate to you a perfect person, only an equal sister, I do know that marriage is sometimes a marker for having a successful and blessed life.  The interesting thing is, I still think of my life as successful and blessed in spite of the tumultuous demise of my marriage.

I’ve prayed more in the past year than I think I have my whole life.  I’ve surrendered to God in a way that I’ve never experienced before.  I’ve had a chance to meet with the Holy Spirit in communions both sacred and, well, ordinary.

Over the past month, I’ve been praying about ministry, church, and my little internet presence, wondering if I should continue.  Wondering if I had time to continue.  And, honestly, I do not know.  I do know I’ve been working on a book, and I do know I have sketches of a new series, “Life After Poor Me.”

When life batters us, we have a way of allowing dismay, depression and disappointment to become a lifestyle.  However, it seems that is directly in conflict with Jesus’ intent for our spiritual development.  You have heard me say a thousand times, Life was not meant to be lived without pain and conflict.  We are part of a world that is rife with pain and conflict.  Jesus died so that as we encounter pain and conflict, we do not shrink away and deny it, but nor do we get angry and cut off the nearest persons ear.  Instead, He came that we would confidently stand tall in the face of our adversary .    Oddly enough, the word stand shows up 483 times in the Word of God.  This verse is my favorite:

Ephesians 6:13
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

After you have done everything, to stand…  I suppose what I am saying is this, at some point we have to put away our mourning clothes, we have to stop our wailing, and we have to re-engage with the Life God gave us to live.  I would like to start a conversation on living this life after “poor me.”  While I think these life lessons can be appropriate for so many disappointments in life, please understand, this time, these ruminations are personal.  I may spend too much time on divorce, separation and family.

To start the conversation, I’d like to go back to a lesson we talked about in our Isaiah 54 study:

Isaiah 54

⁴Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not [seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more.

⁵For your Maker is your Husband–the Lord of hosts is His name–and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.

⁶For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore–even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God.

The Lord is so many things to us, that no matter the pain we are feeling he becomes:

the Husband–never separation and divorce,

the Maker–the doctor and artist in your life,

the Lord of Hosts–with supernatural power,

the Holy one of Israel–with an intimate stake on this Earth,

the Redemeer–self explanatory,

The God of the Whole Earth–from which no part and no one can hide.

So, if we start with just this notion, just this verse, we’ve dipped into the wellspring of hope and faith that does not ever dry up inside us.

So, lets get up and start walking again, Vida!

We have seen, so far,  that the music device, Selah, causes a pause in the music.  Well, today I want to go over another aspect of the Selah moment. Selah as  a moment to reconsider, to think again…

Psalm 32:4-6 (New International Version)

⁴ For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
Selah

⁵ Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD “—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
Selah

⁶ Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.

Have you ever been in a funky mood and it seems as though your thoughts are on repeat?  I find this especially happens when my thoughts are negative.  When I am thinking badly about my husband, its like that media player in my mind continually repeats the audio, video, and the keeps returning to the same phrases of my journal.  Of course by the time he returns home, whoa buddy!!!  All that negativity just bursts forth like an ocean.  So, while we may have been able to have a conversation about some issue that needs some legitimate discussion, the legitimate issue drowns in a malstrom of negative energy.  Nothing rational is heard over the din of irrational.

When a Selah moment is encountered, it pauses to reconsider where I am in my mind’s song.  When I am being negative, I must take a pause to consider my own actions–honestly consider my own actions.

Then, when I consider my own personal mistakes and  negativity, I say to God exactly where I’ve fallen short.

This moment of consideration allows for a reconsideration of the moment.

As I engage with the spiritual in my Selah moment, I am able to see truth where there were just the lies and exagerrations of the negative vibe I was spinning around in my mind.  Within the presence of my pause, finding God’s wisdom, I am able to release (reconsider) the negative spaces and opt for the truth of the positive.  I am not left to interpret the whitespaces in the story, but I can see the wisdom of dealing with the word as it is printed.  Therefore, I am able to consider God’s power and his presence as important and powerful in my situation.

Selah, a moment to reconsider…

I am reminded of Jesus’ own temptation, he was consistently tempted with the benefits of wordly living.  And, yet he put it all aside to care for the soul, and commit himself to the life God has created Him for.

Job, sat dismally after losing everything worldly, and proclaimed, “I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” ) Job 42:3-6  He then pursued understanding and right standing with God.

For the next 46 days to Easter, let us consider our soulful selves.  Let us give ourselves a spiritual make over after the kind of Esther.  Allow our souls to be re-dedicated to God, and long for the love only He can bestow.  Allow us to turn away from the world, and acknowledge the Heavenly Home from which we hailed, to which we can return.

For the next 46 days, let us be willing to open ourselves humbly, reflectively, and honestly towards God.

Psalm 51 (New International Version)

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

² Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

⁶ Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ^[a] ;
you teach ^[b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

⁹ Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

¹⁴ Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are ^[c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

¹⁸ In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

¹⁹ Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

How about a walk through the Psalms?  So, this will be, I envision, a short walk maybe a couple months looking at various Psalms all with an emphasis on finding our Selah Moments.

A Selah Moment is simplest of spiritual machines.  Yet, when coupled together with prayer, acts of goodness, gratefulness and love, we become a spiritual powerhouse.

A Selah Moment is often misunderstood as an act of meditation.  A Selah is often sought after with extreme stress–most of us are comfortable in our solitude whether physical or mental.

A Selah Moment is the withdrawl from action; it is the removal of sound and distraction. It is a space created in the silence, the pause, the exhale of life.

Remember, Selah was intended to be a moment in music where everything paused: the music, the words, etc.  In that pause, one was to allow the spirit an opportunity to engage.  Often we are soo busy, so active, so thoughtful, the spirit is trying to “talk over” the din in our lives.  With a pause, the spirit is able to be.

So, for the next few weeks, lets discuss the Psalms while finding ways to pause and exhale.  Any takers?

Psalm 61:4
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah

Psalm 3

A Psalm of David. When he fled from Absalom his son.

¹LORD, HOW they are increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me.

²Many are saying of me, There is no help for him in God. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

This is the first occurance of  “Selah” in the bible, Psalm 3 composed by David.

Of course, this would have been a song, not a poem.  SELAH very probably was born from a musical device to pause the flow of sound in order to evoke reflection on the most recent statement.

I read the first two lines, and I hear desperation in David’s voice.  I hear confusion, and I hear…well sadness.  Then, Selah.

When we walk into our days, we have moments of anxiety where it seems that the Joy we were able to build is  tottering tower.  Selah is that moment just before the seemingly impending crash.  Take a deep breath, and re-center your being within God.

³But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

⁴With my voice I cry to the Lord, and He hears and answers me out of His holy hill. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

This does not keep the tower from crashing, but the reflection give you the courage to withstand the crash.  It gives us the strength to walk through the crash.  It gives us a reminder of the eternity that belongs to us.  We refresh in the presence of God.

⁵I lay down and slept; I wakened again, for the Lord sustains me.

⁶I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me round about.

⁷Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God! For You have struck all my enemies on the cheek; You have broken the teeth of the ungodly.

When we are given a moment of quiet reflection and refreshment in God, we will turn that out towards others.  Our smallest moments in God can become big blessings for a nation of people.

⁸Salvation belongs to the Lord; May Your blessing be upon Your people. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

Today, as we go through our days, and the day becomes harried and stressful.  Find your Selah moment.  Re-center on God, find the meaning of strife within His great calm.  And, move within the peace of strength through that situation.  Remember, take a deep breath.

V~

We are connected on all sides: kids in arms, husband in face, phone in hand, and computer on table.  There is much opportunity for distraction and drama.  This is a common topic among self-help gurus, faith-based and otherwise.  So,  I won’t belabor the point that we need to disconnect sometimes.

Instead, I want really talk about What it means to move into personal reflection.  For someone who carries around a memory closet full of bad experiences, sometimes personal reflection and devolve into a recasting of those old bad movies with new characters, sometimes it can mean simply reliving those experiences in the quiet of my own mind.

In my non-clinical, very personal experience, without some guidance and a strong arm, those types of reflections are not always beneficial to the delecate balance that is our well-being.  You should not feel beat down and depressed when you leave a Selah Moment, girls.  Instead, calm, strength, center, those should be the words that you feel when you reflection on ones CURRENT STATE.

Personal reflection is not a trip down memory lane, per se.  It is about taking stock of you, right now.  When we read the Psalms and we are directed to Selah–please understand, just as much as the writer is asking you to reflect on what is being expressed, the writer has felt overwhelmed by his own expression and needs to “Selah.”

My Selah this morning was on my health this morning.  While there is quiet a bit “not good” about it.  As I completed my morning yoga (yes, I am one of those *smile), I sat on the floor in my cluttered music/toy/tv room (because I do not live in ZEN paradise); and I took stock of my being.  Today, I am.  Just start there.  Start with the acknowledgement that being is significant.  My favorite holiday movie is Its a Wonderful Life.  Imagine a life where there is no you.  I can honestly say at various points in my life I felt:  a)noone would notice.(blaspheme)  b)Life would be positively impacted(depression)  c)I dont care. (ego)  If this describes your feelings, go back and simply remain in the place where you acknowledge that your existence is significant.  God created you.  Today, I am in a constant wonder at my being…just as the spring flowers that bloom every spring to add color, texture and beauty to that space on earth, I consider my own blooming as something temporary but intentional.  So, in considering my being, I quietly contemplate my gratefulness and my purpose (even when I am unclear as to the EXACT purpose).

What these two steps in my Selah moment do each morning, they allow me to go through my life today as an active participate in the revelation of my life.  My life is so connected, intentionally, because my own life helps to illuminate the life in others.  It is through the interconnectedness of lives, the LIFE is revealed.  The blooming of a flower under a tree hidden from eyes pleases God with its beauty.  The blooming of the flower, picked by the child, and presented to the grandmother: now that is God’s expression of  beauty revealed.  The child and the grandmother now have a life moment to share with others, who will receive the expression of Life through their interconnectivity.

My Flower for You

Psalm 131

A Song of Ascents. Of David.

^1[a]LORD, MY heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty; neither do I exercise myself in matters too great or in things too wonderful for me.

²Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me [ceased from fretting].

³O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forever.

Selah, sisters.  Reflect simply and uncomplicatedly at your own being–its significant.

Why did we study Isaiah 54 from such a close perspective?  Because, uniquely, this chapter speaks to a feminine audience.  Though it is addressing the whole of Israel, the verses speak as God initmately whispering to a female loved one.  We are not excluded from address in the Bible.  As well, we are not seculded and compartmentalized into a few choice characters and a few choice passages.  God has a voice that both mimics our own, as well as one that speaks into our hearts as a woman.

Women’s ministry, as I’ve said before, is not about tea parties on Saturday morning–although those are good as well.  Its not all about bake sales, and primary aged Sunday Schools.  God created us, not secondarily based on an existing model. God created us in his own likeness, and separated out our uniqueness, our distinctions in a way that we would complement one another (men and women).  He created women not as superior or inferior.

Isaiah 54 is one of those chapters, however, that speaks the language of womanhood.  It speaks of family, and forgiveness, and love, and protection, and empowerment, and love…and love.  This is not to say men can not learn anything.  God in his infinite wisdom placed a craving of Divine Love in all of us.  It is only to say that God reserved a little here especially for a feminine perspective.

God is listening, are you?

Every time you read it I hope you see a little more you in the spaces between the lines.  I pray that you hear how God speaks to you, no matter where you might be.

I hope to complete the compilation of both this and the proverbs31 into downloadable studies with audio, soon.

Until next week…If you have anything you would like to study as a group, please let me know…right now I am open to ideas.